When I see the photo of myself on the sidebar, I think to myself that on the surface, everything looks fine. I don't need braces, and I certainly don't need jaw surgery. (Well, that's what I wanted to believe.) But just because something looks okay doesn't mean there's not an underlying, deeper issue lurking beneath the surface.
That realization can be a rude awakening, at least it was for me.
Two years ago, I had my wisdom teeth extracted. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience because I was getting local anesthesia for the first time and that scared the bejeezus out of me. In fact, my last words before going under was, "I'm so scared." I know, I'm a chicken!
Of course, the procedure went without a hitch, but in replacement of my wisdom teeth was paranoia. I was sure my teeth were going to move now that the wisdom teeth were gone. So I figured an orthodontist would put my fears to rest. I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Wong two weeks after my wisdom teeth were removed.
Before divulging The Revelation, I have to say that Dr. Wong is a cool guy. He has a positive and informal demeanor that can put anyone at ease. And he's very clear at explaining information, which is important to me. He's also from Hawaii - that may sound like a non sequitur, but it was relevant to me because he was open about explaining the role of genetics and heredity in Hispanics, Asians, and other non-Caucasian populations - all of those factors correspond to the structure of the teeth, lips, and mouth, which in turn, affect alignment.
So, The Revelation.
As I was laying on the examination table with my mouth wide open, Dr. Wong told me that I didn't need to worry about my teeth shifting due to the wisdom-teeth extraction. I had a much larger problem on my hands, he said. I had suffered some kind of trauma in my childhood that affected my jaw development. That is, my jaws never developed properly, which created a host of problems I was already aware of, but would only get worse with age if untreated.
When he said those words, a memory immediately came to mind. It wasn't the first time I conjured up that memory, but it freaked me out nonetheless. Now, as a cognitive psychologist, I know full well how fallible memory is, so naturally I hedged when I told Dr. Wong about this memory. But I do believe this memory offers an auspicious clue to my current situation.
When I was three-years old, my parents and brother lived on a military base in Texas. One evening, my parents were having an argument in the kitchen. I was in the kitchen, too, and I wanted to go to the living room, which meant I had to sneak in between them to get there. It was bad timing: My father accidentally hit me on the back of my head (I think he was using his hands in a gesture; I don't think he meant to hit me deliberately). I fell to the ground face first. Next thing I remember is a white cloth being put into my mouth; a cup of milk with my teeth in it; and the last thing I remember is sitting in the back of the car being whisked away to the hospital. That's it - that's the end of my memory.
Crazy, right? Well, the memory really is irrelevant because it doesn't solve the current problem. Dr. Wong presented me with three options: 1) do nothing and in another 10-15 years get my teeth replaced because they're too worn down; 2) wear a splint to maintain the status quo; or 3) have jaw surgery to fix the problem. He elaborated on each point, but when I heard the word "surgery," I lost the ability to process language. I felt like he just delivered the biggest sucker-punch to my gut. I felt nauseous and faint because I realized that getting my wisdom teeth removed was basically a walk in the park in comparison to the jaw surgery he was talking about. And I had been so scared. Good grief!
I told Dr. Wong I had to think about it, and I stumbled out of his office. I was stupefied; I immediately called my brother and told him what happened. He was shocked. When I told him about my memory, he said, "Michelle, I don't remember that happening to you." Well, my brother was two-years old at the time, so that might explain it! :0)
I did call my father that night and asked him about it - true to form, he said he didn't remember that ever happening to me. It took another year before I was able to ask my mother. When I saw her last summer in Puerto Rico, I took the opportunity to ask her. In shock and amazement, she confirmed that memory. "Yes, Michelle, that did happen to you," she said. And she provided me with a few more details about the event - that I fell so quickly I didn't have time to use my hands to break my fall, hence me hitting the floor face first. She also told me I lost all four of my upper teeth, which I presume the doctors somehow put back into my mouth.
Anyway, that's the back story. You already know that I choose Option 3. I hope I've made the right decision because there's no going back now!
Here is a photograph of Michelle's X ray. Notice the screws and wires holding her together - if it were not for them, her jaw would be literally be hitting the floor.
Michelle makes a major faux paus by choosing a red over a white wine glass. Don't quit your day job to become a Sommelier, Michelle!
Despite the fact I'm not unique (and that's okay!), my friend Heather did make me feel special yesterday. We met for dinner last night at Fiddler's, which is my favorite local restaurant in South Bend. Heather surprised me by presenting me a cute bag filled with goodies for my post-op recovery. I have several crossword and sodoku puzzles, straws, two bottles of ensure (one vanilla, the other chocolate), foot spa treatment (for Sean to rub my feet - ha!), and several dog-walking/errand/housecleaning coupons that I can redeem from her until I'm able to eat solid food again. Amazing! I am really touched by this - I certainly wasn't expecting anything from anyone, and Heather was so thoughtful and kind. Aww, I do feel special!
